pity party

This morning didn't start out very well..my daughter misplaced her library book and one of my biggest pet peeves is things getting misplaced..I then had a yelling match with my daughter since she said she didn't need to test on that AR book and needed to test on another one..long story short..I didn't act like I should have and of course apologized later. I also had a pity party for myself and told the Lord "I'm done" since I'm just sooo tired of cleaning and just doing and being so many things to so many people etc..like I said I was having a huge pity party that we all need to do every now and then..just to vent..if you know what i mean. Anyhow..as I'm driving to my bible study that I was in desperate need of by the way..I was listening to Psalm 91:1 and they said the verse of the day is 1Peter 5:8-9 talking about the devil prowling around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour!..I felt that I was being spirtually attacked by the enemy by letting myself escalate and to think of unpleasant things..I then repented to the lord, I prayed for protection and that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength..etc. In my weakness: he is made strong!. So I had this awesome time spent in prayer with the Lord and then I turn my radio back on as I"m pulling in the parking lot and this song that was on that I NEVER heard before and it was by Royal Tailor entitled "Remain" Royal Tailor - Remain (Single) Lyrics Royal Tailor - Remain From the album Remain (Single) I know you're feeling weighed down It's all on your shoulders I know the dreams in your head Don't look any closer I'm gonna make you stronger Hold on just a little bit longer Cause I'll be there When you feel like you're going under Yea I'm gonna be there for ya, yea The sky could fall The ground could shake The stars burn out And seasons change Time will pass and beauty fade But all My love will remain When there's a secret to tell It's locked and I'll keep it close When you're walking through fire I'll take you to streets of gold I'm gonna make you stronger Hold on just a little bit longer Cause I'll be there When you feel like you're going under Yea I'm gonna be there for ya, yea And when the world all around you Is out of place And you can't seem to find a familiar face I'm here to remind you My love remains WOW!!!!!!!!!! It spoke right to me..the very core of my being..but I was going to get out of my car and then another song which I NEVER heard before came on by Jaime Thietten..Here are the lyrics to "It's a Good day": ' Nother Day too much to do, Keep checkin' things off Seems like you'll never get through, And life keeps on flyin' by Always say yes, never say no Spinnin' those plates, round and around you go Never stop to ask yourself why But hold on, let's wait a minute It's a Good Day good day to be alive Everyone sing now So let's do more than just survive That's what I'm sayin' Don't lose sight, of all the beauty that surrounds you Don't let it pass you by, It's a good day to be alive Well the birds don't run and hide When the sun gets stuck behind the clouds in the sky They know it's gonna be alright When the flowers feel the rain Comin' down they don't melt into the ground And question the grand design Cuz the sun, will come back around yea, It doesn't matter, the path that you take Keep your eyes open and see the love along the way, yeah WOW again!!! I was so overcome by the spirit and just sat in my car and bawled like a baby..It was so amazing..well then I go to women of the Word and I find out that a 23 year old school teacher died of a brain aneurysm..just like that..gone..Lesson: EACH DAY IS A BLESSING and we should live each day as if it's our last! and SEE the good around us and JUST ENJOY LIFE and seeing GOD in EVERYTHING!! So no matter what you are going through God is with you ..He cares about your pity party and for all the little things and Big things as well..the love that he has for each and every one of us is so amazing! Even in the Darkness His light will shine!!! Just a side note: I did get an email during bible study from one of my besties mom's and she said her daughter felt an overwhelming attack from the enemy as well and we all need to put on our armor of God!!!

Overcoming obstacles

Back in the beginning of Oct, I was asked to be the speaker at one of our Emmaus meetings at my church. I felt so honored but also felt unsure of what God wanted me to speak about since there are so many things he has done! I then felt I would get more clarity from God when I went to a retreat called "Brides of Christ" in Orlando with one of my best friends Tanya. So while we were there I was given a verse to read and it was Ephesians 6 (talking about putting on the full armor of God). I thought beforehand that he wanted me to speak on overcoming obstacles before each Emmaus walk and so this was another sign from God that he wanted me to mention this scripture in my testimony..but he wasn't done yet. ..We had some alone time with God and during that time I was able to walk the prayer labrinynth which is this pretty woven maze. I was deep in prayer and talking to God when I rounded the corner and saw all these spiders and the web was literally blocking my path..Now know that I have a DEEP fear of spiders and really there was NO WAY i was going ahead. I told the Lord that but I felt the spirit beckoning me to get to the end and to grab my sword ..a stick..and slay the spiders and forge ahead with the help from the Holy Spirit "I can do ALL things through Christ Who Strengthens me". So I forged ahead and I was able to get to the END where this beautiful cross was awaiting me..It's kind of an analogy of life..In this life we will have Obstacles to overcome but God is with us through us and he will see us to the END where we will meet him in GLORY and that is where our true AWARD awaits us..it's not on this earth for this earth is only temporary but heaven is for ETERNITY! He also gave me during the week the verse in Hebrews 12:1-2 "Run the race that is set out before us and to keep our eyes on Jesus"..Paraphrasing. God also gave me the verse in Ephesians 3:20 that was in Jesus calling and in my bible study for the week.."Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.. Also John 16:33 states "IN this world you will have trouble but take heart I've overcome the world" I was then getting ready for my testimony and looked outside and felt the Holy spirit prompting me to go outside and look for a rainbow ..since I was going to talk about how God gave me a rainbow before each Emmaus walk (mine, dad's, mom's) and about mom's healing and how God gave me a rainbow then as well.I didn't see the rainbow at first but somehow I sensed there was one..then 5 min later I get this text from my friend and she sees one in Bluewater but I guess I couldn't see it since the trees were in the way and she sent me a pic of it..another analogy is this..even though we don't see God, He is always there!!! I was and am overcome with thankfulness to the Lord for showing me a rainbow again on the day (just an hour before I was to give my testimony that was about rainbows of all things). Our God cares soooo Much about each and every one of us..we just need to be open to him and to have our eyes and ears open to what he wants to show us! God filled the room as well and was so overcome by the holy spirit during my testimony..it was AMAZING!! ALL GLORY and HONOR and Praise are HIS NOW And Forever!!!!

Mom's emmaus walk

It's been way too long since I last posted. It's not because God has not been at work because he has! He has revealed himself in such great and mighty ways! 2 weeks ago I felt I was under A LOT of spirtual warfare. I felt like the devil and God were battling..I know that sounds odd..but just hang with me for a min..My mom was fixing to go on her Emmaus walk at blue lake (sept 5th through the 8th) : spiritual retreat. The Devil does NOT want anyone going to this..why would he? He hates when we get spirtually renewed and closer to God..he will try EVERYTHING in his power to prevent this..well I started getting sick..sinus stuff. Then my dad had issues with his stomach. We really felt like the Devil was trying to prevent us from going to take her up there..mom also started having sinus issues. We then prayed for Healing in the prayer chapel at church and literally the next day all 3 of us were on the mend /healed! Power of prayer is AWESOME! God also was revealing himself to me during this struggle by giving me the number 3:33 A LOT! I would be watching a tv show (downton abbey) and the number 3 was on the train doors 3 times, I would drive 33 miles to a pt's house, I would go 33 minutes to a pt's house, Gas was 3:33 at 3 different gas stations, He showed me Job 33:14 ("For God does speak, now one way, now another, though no one perceives it"). WOW! I thought literally that I was losing my mind..I would all the time chuckle whenever he showed me this number..it was VERY persistent! Like he was saying "I'm here, I've got this! Well he wasn't done with his revealing yet..the time came to drive my mom up to Blue Lake for her retreat! I was so excited in the am and thought that would be cool if God gave me a rainbow today since He gave me a rainbow in the sky on my emmaus walk and also on the day my dad went on his walk to Emmaus! So as I'm walking the girls to school I look behind me and there is a rainbow in the sprinklers that were on! How awesome! I was so super excited that he still found a way to give me a rainbow! Well he wasn't done yet...I go to pay the bill at Gator Cafe and my bill was 33 dollars! Hahha! So then I walk outside and it was slightly overcast and sunny..and I thought I bet there is a rainbow. So I walk into the parking lot, I turn around and stare at this cloud and all of a sudden a rainbow appears..very faint..I was super excited but also mad that it was so faint since I thought that won't make a great pic..but then as soon as i thought that it got brighter and bigger and lasted about half way to blue lake. I was jumping up and down in parking lot..people probably thought i was crazy but then they got excited and took pics too! Oh HOW GOD LOVES US!!!!!!!!!!! So about a week goes by after all these wonderful revelations..I'm driving to work this am and my prayer to God was that he would reveal himself to me and that I don't want to miss him in anything..well on my windshield it started fogging over..well I start looking intently and all of a sudden I see a cross and to the right of that a smiley face! It was so awesome..:) He delights in revealing himself to us and even greater when we get sooo excited about it! I pray that you won't miss what he's trying to reveal to you..I pray that all our hearts/minds/ears will be open to him. Thank you lord for your Revelations! All praise and Honor and Glory are yours NOW and Forever! AMEN!

Move in day and Cross in cloud

A week ago Saturday (6/22/13) we moved into our new house!!! It was a busy day unloading and unpacking boxes and then we decided to go order our washer/dryer at home depot. At first we didn't want to go since we were tired and knew Destin was going to be crowded but we went anyway..well on the drive home we saw the sky was getting dark and then it started to rain and it was also sunny so I thought to myself .."that would be awesome if God would give me a rainbow on the day I moved in" and all of a sudden I see a rainbow!!! We get home and it's directly over our house!! Ill have to post a pic later since it's not on my computer. God is sooo Awesome! I also have to blog about what happened this past friday. I was scheduled to work or so I thought but then I saw I didn't have any patients (I"m a home health nurse). Well I decided I was going to go shopping with my mom since I needed a few things for my house. So as I'm driving to Target in Fort Walton I'm stopped at a red light and I looked at the clouds and all of a sudden they part and they start to form a cross! I was told by 2 different people in the previous week of stories of how the clouds parted and a cross formed! I was so excited. By the time I could take a picture the cross went away. I continued to drive and then I looked over at the gas station and price for gas was 3.33! (See previous post about 3:33). Now I'm REALLY excited since that's the way God communicates generally to me. So then I continue to shop and we are at the 2nd store and my phone rings and it's my boss saying she has an admission that she wants me to do in the area that i'm currently in and at first I said no since I wasn't dressed for it (was in cut off jeans, shirt, and flip flops)..pretty unprofessional. She said I could go as is. So I really was wrestling with whether I should go see this patient even though I had a TON left to do for that day..I still needed to go grocery shopping so we wouldn't have to continue to eat out every night! The spirit inside me would't let it go so I finally called her back and said I would go and grocery shopping would just have to take a back burner. So I went to her house which took me around 3 miles. When I entered I didn't notice at first all the christian signs/pictures hanging in her living room but did notice her bible in the back bed room where she was. Needless to say she said the first thing she noticed about me was that I was wearing a cross and knew she would be in good hands..she could care less how i was dressed!! :). Anyway it turned out some of her vitals were unstable so we were able to do a few things to improve (who knows what would have happened if I wasn't obedient and didn't come when I did). She drastically improved by the end of the visit and we got on the topic of religion and I talked to her about my mom being healed and seeing Jesus almost 4 years ago! Her and her precious family were so excited and encouraged! I left there feeling on cloud 100!!! It's amazing how God acts when we are obedient to his will and I didn't care I didn't get to the grocery store that day since God had other plans in mind! It was such a blessed day!!! So just remember even if you have "plans" for that day..don't hesitate to put aside your plans for his when his spirit is prompting you..great things are in store when you listen and be obedient to what he's calling you to do!!

Closing day!

Yesterday we closed on the house we are selling after 6.5 years of living there. We decided to sell since intrest rates are low. We will be closing on our new house in about a week but can't move in to end of June since she is still trying to find a house. I had been driving around one day.. Just to see if there is anything on market that wasn't listed online and I saw our house and told lily " if only that house was on the market!" We'll then a week goes by and I saw a house on website in that neighborhood listed and so I drove it again and there was a for sale sign in the yard!!! We are very excited about this next chapter in our lives and are so thankful for what we have been given by The Lord. Back to my story from yesterday.. I was pretty nervous yesterday and felt out of sorts before closing since we had to pay all closing costs which was a pretty hefty sum of money. I did my daily bible reading and I accidentally read march 9 th reading instead of may 9 and was in john and read about Jesus healing a fathers son and how the Fathers son was questioned about when the healing took place and he said the seventh hour.. Well then I was reminded of when God healed my mom Andrew I could pin point the exact time she was healed. I think The Lord wanted to remind me he's in control and I am not and he will provide!!!We then went to closing and all went smoothly and then I went to store and my bill was 29.33.. Refer back to my blog about how God communicates to me through this number( Age of Jesus when he died). So then I looked on Facebook a few hours later and Job 33:14 was posted and it says "For God does speak- now one way, now another-though no one perceives it." WOW!! It also states that he speaks 2 or 3 x to try to get his message across. Very true!! Then I saw 33 again in the time. I really feel that's his way to bring my focus back on him and not my problem! Thank you Lord!!

silent prayer retreat

This past Friday, 30 people (including myself) from my church left on the church bus to go to Eufaula Alabama to Blessed Trinity for a Silent prayer retreat. As we were on the way up there a random thought/prayer went into my head. I asked the Lord to give me a rainbow since that's one of the many things he likes to give me. 5 min later or around that..I went on facebook and my friend Erin posted a pic of a rainbow on my page..then a few min later and my friend Amanda posted a pic of birds above water and she said there's a rainbow in there that reminded her of me. So even though I was looking for the rainbow in the sky he gave it to me through these ways. Also Nikki and Gemma had on Crosses that my friend Michelle makes and it's it rainbow colors! So 3 times he gave me a rainbow all within a few min of each other! We then stop at Eufaula to eat at a barbeque place and everyone sang Happy Birthday to me :) It was really sweet! Yes, I turned 33 on Friday..very sentimental since Jesus died when he was 33 and the Lord communicates to me in numbers and this is one of the main numbers he gives me :3:33..Thursday night before we left I said "Lord, that would be funny if you woke me up when with a number with 33 in it"..well that night he woke me up at 1:33..then as we were driving up to Eufaula I saw a sign for acreage for sale and it said "133 acres for sale"..off I-10! It may or may not be significant but I like to think it is..what are the chances of that? Once we arrive to Blessed Trinity I find out I'm in room 3!!! Really?? Out of all the room numbers..I'm in room 3?? and I turned 33...so hence 3:33! Also there were 30 of us and out of the 30 there were 13 new comers. Some of you may think i'm crazy and that's okay..it's just how God communicates with me :) So we all get checked in and have a meeting with everyone before hand..we then have about 1 hour and 30 min before dinner so we can use it by going outside or where ever to spend time with God by ourselves and to be still and know he is God! I walked outside with Mom in silence and I stopped at the pond and she continued on..I sat under this beautiful tree full of greenery and then walked back up to our rooms..as I was walking I became overwhelmed with all the things God has done for me..healing my mother, all his provisions, everything! I then asked God to give me a deer sighting..thinking how cool would that be..there is a lot of forest around and plenty of deer (or so you would think)..He didn't give it to me right then but I wasn't disappointed since I really felt his presence and that's enough! Well, Little did I know that when mom went off on her trail around the same time, she was walking and became overwhelmed as well with her healing and all God had done for her and then she saw a squirrel dart in front of her and then she heard more brustling in the leaves and all of a sudden a huge deer leaped out in front of her!! That night we practiced Lectivo divina (don't know if that's spelled right) : It's where you really focus on a few verses of scripture and imagine you are there and what God is trying to say to you regarding that passage. She chose to focus on the Prodigal son story..I have a few people I know that aren't saved Personally..there are Many people in our world that aren't and My prayer is that they will be brought back to Christ in a Great and mighty way! Jesus says He doesn't wish for any to perish but for all to have eternal life! The next day, we had a devotional given by Gemma. She talked about how we are all on a pilgrimage and she gave us a little card that states : Trust in his timing, Rely on his promises, wait for his answers, believe in his miracles, Rejoice in his goodness, Relax in his presence. Also in my daily reading bible, I just happened to be on Psalm 23 which I'll go back to once I tell you about what took place this day. I went exploring after breakfast by myself and stopped at the sisters cemetery to just reflect and praise God and listen. I sang "you are Faithful" by Jesus Culture and after I got done I turned and there was a Deer!! He was maybe 20 to 30 feet from me and he was just standing there looking intently at me..I felt it was Like Jesus was saying "Come and follow me"..The deer then leaped off and I walked after it and saw another deer! I then proceeded to walk to the "Grotto" ..Has a statue of Mary and a soft trickling stream. Well as I complete my prayer/devotional here I hear something int he woods to my right and there is a family of Deer (probably 3 or 4). I then go the the "Holy Hill" and as I'm walking I see another family of deer (around 3 or 4). I then proceed to have quiet/prayer/devotional time at the Holy Hill and as I'm listening for God I hear a breeze through the trees and I feel a presence behind me and I felt something touch me around my back and I must have jumped 1,000 feet..anyway, I totally ruined the moment and I knew It was God coming close to me. It was AMAZING! I guess he took me by surprise :) I looked around and didn't "see" him but I felt him! In my devotional it said " As we draw near to him, he draws near to us." Very true!! Also he gave me several other verses: Isaiah 43:2, Jeremiah 31:3, Zepahaniah 3:7, John 14: 21, 23. So God showed me Deer 3 times!! I then walked to the old church and the Walk to Emmaus statue! I thought how neat they have that here since my dad who is also on the retreat will be attending his walk the next weekend! After Lunch, a few of us went down to the river (Mom, Nikki, Gemma, and I) and then others joined us later and we had a circle of prayer. That was very powerful as well. So back to Psalm 23..It says "He maketh me lie down in green pastures"..we were laying in grass by the lake.."He leadeth me beside still waters"..we were by the river and how still it was and peaceful.."he restores my soul"..my soul and mnay others were restored!! Praise the Lord Jesus Christ!! Sat night there was testimonies given and we were able to pray for those that needed prayer as well. I then spent time at the foot of the cross in the chapel and worshiped God and took communion. It was awesome! Then Sunday, Charles gave a devotional and sang a wonderful song. He talked about Psalm 84 and how God is loving, merciful, gracious, and Holy! and how important it is to spend time with him. I then felt God leading me to stations of the cross..It's beautiful and outside along this path. I then felt like going back to when I was Catholic..many years ago..I had to look it up on my phone to read about each station even though I knew by looking at it what it was about but felt I could get more out of it by really focusing on the things God wanted to show me. During this time I felt his powerful presence and when I closed my eyes to pray to him I could feel his light around me and even though it was cold outside my heart was warm. I then walked to the pond and back and then we had lunch and then ended our retreat with testimonies and communion formed in large circle around the altar in chapel and I was able to give communion to my parents and they to me..How amazing is that? In all my years that has never happened and it was such a blessed time..and thankful the Lord prepared my heart in advance by doing stations of the cross to really have me meditate on what he did for all of us on the cross! I will forever be grateful for this precious time spent alone with the Lord! On the way home, Gemma spotted a small rainbow in the sky on either side of the sun! So he did answer my prayer in the way I expected him to ..he waited for the 3rd day to show me:) Our God is a GREAT and Mighty God and He deserves all our praises!!! A few of the things that I feel the Lord has changed me on and that I will continue to work on is I desire to be less selfish and want to be selfless, I want to not judge others but view others as God sees them, and continue to lay everything at his feet..to surrender all I am to him and for him to use me as his servant! I also take away that we should all pray without ceasing and Rejoice ALWAYS despite our circumstances..because He paid it all and he's on his throne!!! Thank you LORD!!!

4 more months

Yesterday I was told that my husband may have to go to Vegas Feb 1st for 4 months for reserve duty..He just got back from a 6 mo deployment to Afghanistan from his regular job and now this..he's been only home 1 month. I felt like I was in a dream and didn't hear correctly and when I woke up this am I thought I dreamt that whole conversation. I was pretty mad and needless to say I probably said a few things I shouldn't. I just needed to vent to whoever wanted to hear..I'm tired of doing the single mom thing..I just did that..How come I have to do it again?, Life isn't fair..and on it went. My poor precious kids even made me dinner since they knew I was stressed and put on christian music in the back ground..made me cry. I love them and my precious husband so much. I guess I've been holding on to tight..forgive me for wanting though a sense of normalacy and for my children to have their dad here in the present..not over a phone or a computer..These were all the things I was feeling and still do but then something happened. I was reminded that my military wives group that I was apart of at my church while he was gone previously is starting a new study called "God Strong" so today I downloaded the book and started reading chapter 1..It started with the Author sharing how her husband is also in the reserves and how she felt like she couldn't go on when she was half way through the deployment and how she felt when she got the news he was being deployed. She also goes on to say she was so focused on doing things in her own strength..no wonder she was tired. She then said she changed her focus to God and let him come in and give her the strength that she needed and it was only by his strength that she got through it. and that God loves you!!! Such an awesome feeling when you get a divine wake up call from the Lord..He was saying "Jenny, Let Go and let me work it out, I've got this, you don't, you can't do it by yourself, Only through me can you do it and you will with my help! So it gets better..at the point a wt was taken off my shoulders..it's always nice to be reminded of things we not necessarily forget but that we just know it's a God wink. So I continue to go about my day and then I am reminded to do my bible study of Christian to the Core for Wed night class and I just happen to be on "Overcoming Obstacles, Finding Strength in Christ". There it is AGAIN! The Holy Spirit actually prompted me at 3 in the am to get up and read Christian to the Core then but I was too tired and I grabbed my ipad instead..should have listened but at least I'm now reading it..It just basically reiterates that the way to overcome obstacles is through Christ who gives us strength and through his word and Prayer! The power of prayer alone is GREAT! So no matter what I know God is in control and I will accept and get through whatever comes my way with Christ who gives me Strength!!

33

I'm getting ready to go on a Spiritual prayer retreat with my church at the end of the month..we Leave on my birthday! I will be turning 33! (The age of Jesus when he died). I'm looking forward to some quiet time with the Lord and it's a silent prayer retreat in Euffaula Al. Some of my friends will be going and my parents will be as well. Should be a great time. I received and email a week ago stating how many people are on the retreat and it said "33". I couldn't believe it!!! I thought the cut off originally was 20 then they extended it to 30 since they could open another wing and now they extended it to 35. So later that same day I go through the check out at Winn-Dixie and the cashier said "You saved 33.37!! Too weird! Then that night I was going to turn my Ipad off and it said 33 percent charge left on battery power. I really feel it's just God showing me himself and reminding me that's he's here. It's awesome. My prayer is for all of us to be open to what God is showing us and not to miss any of his revelations!!!

giving /rewarding

A few weeks ago I was at my bible study on Thursday morning at my church and we had a Christmas luncheon and had several speakers. There were people from Harvest Vineyard ministry up in Crestview that house/help those undergoing drug addiction. I felt the Holy Spirit compelling me to give and an amt came into my head..I felt for sure that's not what God wanted but then he kept repeating it..I told him I could compromise and give a lesser amt. Then I felt I should wait and if I kept having a Conviction then I knew it was from God. So I waited a few weeks..I kept going back to Jonah (which was the study we just completed) and how he was asked to go to Nineveh by God and he was disobedient and instead tried to get away from God but then a storm came and he was swallowed by the fish. In the end he was obedient and did what God told him to do to begin with. I ended up giving a certain amount to International Impact ministries which is a non profit organization that goes on Mission trips throughout South America. I went on a Mission trip to Nicaragua with them and it has been life changing (back in 2011). Then as I was sitting on my computer to donate online to Harvest Vineyard Ministry, I typed in the amount I told God I could give..but before I could press enter, He said "Jenny, that's not the amount I told you to give." So I ended up changing it to the amount he said to give. I also gave a certain amt to church. All in all it ended up being a certain amount. WEll this morning I get a text on my phone letting me know that a certain amount (the EXACT amount I gave to missions for Christmas)was deposited into my bank account..3 days after I gave. I went online to see where the money had come from and it was a Reimbursement that the Government still owed my husband from his paycheck when he was in Afghanistan! How amazing is that??? I have to say a thought did come into my mind when i was giving..that if I give this maybe my house will sell..or he will give me something in return..but then my spirit repented and said No, I am doing this strictly to be obedient to what God has called me to do and I expect NOTHING in return..Well I guess God had other plans!!! He's so Amazing!!! He will always Provide if we are obedient to what he has called us to do!